Pugs

Jesse: Ok, enough with the pugs. It's bad enough that they look fetal insects magnified to an unnecessary size, but then the breathing problems, the leaking anuses, the anxious bundle of fidgety complexes they must have. It's pitiful and genuinely sad that there has to be an animal equivalent of your grandfather with the 3,600 health problems that everyone is secretly praying will just go peacefully in his sleep. And now this poor thing has to wear a basketball suit, as if it wasn't embarrassing enough for him to go through life as the squished equivalent of a real dog, all because of the idiotic whim of some 17th century Austrian princess who begged PaPa for a dog small enough to fit on her hat. These things are a laundy list of why craft breeding was (and still is) to dogs what European colonialism was to the rest of the world. Can't we just leave these god forsaken animals alone and let them play in a field or something.

Lisa: This is making me very upset. I'm too small to play basketball and this dog is even smaller than me probably.