Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Movin' Out

Jesse: Dogs love to move. Maybe it's because dogs love conveyancing at and a chance to get their paws all over that is like finding a scrumptious heap of vomit getting all toasty in the sun. The layout is all Picasso blue period without the emaciation which appeals to dogs because their color vision is slanted to the green end of the spectrum and ladies with sweet headsets remind them of their rambunctious youths, little pups rolling around in endless green fields.

But it's not all fun and games. When you need a conveyancing quote you need a conveyancing quote, its like the call of nature in some ways, and its not like you can just stroll down to the 7-11 or your local "We Sell Your Stuff on E-Bay" store to pick one up. Dogs understand this. They don't show it, but that look, the one they give you when you come out of the bathroom and they're just standing their next to the door, a little judgmental, a little wise, it's a real understanding of the demands of conveyancing and market fluctuation and the vagaries of moving in our fast-paced modern world.

But its cheap conveyancing that's important, you know. It's especially key for a dog, whose liquid assets are all expended on fire hydrants and who doesn't ever have much cash on hand. Moving can be hard on a dog. Their love for new experiences is what makes them so appealing in some ways but a lot of it is a front. As pack animals they need to be strong, to back the choices of the leader without question or any kind of obstinance. In nature that would get them nipped in the butt without a second thought. In the domestic world you're the leader of the pack and your dog will follow you wherever you ask him to. But try to keep his feelings in mind and realize that cheap conveyancing makes his dreams a little sweeter as he nods off to sleep in front of the stove.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Jesse: Did dogs ever really routinely live in dog houses or is this yet another fabricated myth of magical pre-hippie America, like sock-hops or the Fonz? There's no way of knowing for sure but I recently recently found a dogloo abandoned in some dense brush and it was like stumbling upon the ruins of a lost civilization.


Jesse: Maybe science has theorized this already but I feel like dogs are just wolves who thousands of years of coddling and puppy treats have left severely mentally retarded. Which, like child-safety guards on outlets, is probably for the best. Having a wolf for a pet would involve constantly outwitting it as it repeatedly hatched brilliant schemes to eat you while you were sleeping or looking into the fridge or in the bath. Sure, complain the next time Fido wedges his head in the banister, but remember you're only a few IQ points away from him eating you and all of your relatives.

Lisa: A ginger dog is a most wonderful thing; this one in particular is something special, do you see

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dogs Eating Our Blogwork

The dog-ate-my-homework legend actually started in the 18th century, when certain breeds of dogs were trained by professionals of low moral standing to snatch important papers straight from the hands of their rivals. It worked in a sense, until the victims started training passenger pigeons to steal the papers back from the dogs and London started to look like that scene in The Birds where the birds break through the window of the doggie day-care center. The bobbies had to blow their whistles until everyone got a hold of themselves and the streets were covered in doo. Yes it's an unfortunate anecdote, but it proves that there is some historical validity to the whole thing and kids who used it back in the day weren't as obviously yanking the chain as it may seem to our modern minds. Anyway, to summarize: a dog got into this blog and ate the last four months of posts. What a strange coincidence.