Saturday, July 26, 2008

Ghost Dog

Jesse: Ghost dogs are always furious because their very ghostliness deprives them of all the good things about being a dog. They bite a balloon and it keeps on floating or run right through a car while chasing after it and while ghost humans soon settle into a final mournful resentment, with sorrow-wracked looks through dirty windows and residencies in ramshackle old houses, the dogs just keep getting angrier and angrier. They run all night to get out the rage but being ghosts they don't actually cover any distance (there's a kind of reset function on spirits that keeps them locked in a certain area) and being dogs they cannot understand this spatial transference and so get more and more confused and pissed off.

This is why when you find yourself on the moors near Swansea on a particularly foggy St. Andrew's eve you end up pursued by three or four consecutive ghost dogs and collapse all out of breath at a local pub, sitting there wondering which government agency you can call to complain, listening to the locals saying "Ay, that poor Trevor was a right good 'ound 'e was" when they hear your story. But try to have a little understanding. And if you see a hound ghost just let him chase you, keeping enough of a pace that he won't catch up but will at least feel like he accomplished something, because that's basically the only thing these poor guys have left.

Lisa: Jesse, I don't think you should do that if you're chased by a ghost dog because ghosts can kill you.

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