Jesse: Lotus Dog is what happens when a van full of ravers plunges off a cliff and is accidentally reincarnated all at once. The kind of image he projects is the antithesis of actual cool but he's so sure with it, all slithering movements and fuzzy Kangol hats, calling girls baby like he's Jimi Hendrix in a pair of UFO pants, that the face he makes when he finds out you're not into Italian house actually makes you feel insignificant. You see him at Burning man talking acid freakouts back down to earth and intensely dancing all alone on some alkali flats and he does that thing where he makes total eye contact with you from thirty yards away and it just freezes your blood. While other dogs spend their afternoons treating their balls like melting ice cream cones Lotus Dog is making cameo appearances in mescaline-induced nightmares, issuing veiled pronouncements on the future of the grain industry.
Lisa: I used to think a Lotus was a kind of bug but as it turns out it's a flower. That's awesome because I really don't like bugs and flowers are okay but dogs are really just the best things out there. Locusts. Locusts is what I was thinking of.
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