Knights of the Hound Table

Lisa: This is like an armadillo dog. I did a project in third grade about armadillos. This dog has gotten in with the wrong crowd, I think.

Jesse: "Father," the boy said, "is it true you post so many pictures of costumes dogs because you realize there's nothing left to say about the animals themselves?
"Who told you that?" Jesse asked, putting down the yellow legal pad, where he had sketched out a picture of a dog dressed as George Washington kissing a dog dressed as Martha Washington.
The boy troubled him. He played for long hours in an empty sandbox and wore Eric Clapton t-shirts.
"No one," he said, "as your imaginary son I function as a conduit for your doubts and fears, reflecting them back as they appear in your mind through my small size and important status."
"Hmm." Jesse said. The boy's eyes shone brightly. "Can we just play this direct and you tell me what else I'm afraid of?"
"Horses. Public speaking. You worry people notice your toes are too long." There was a pause, the boy picked up a small globe and considered it, twirling the world round and picking a place with his finger. "They do," he said.
"Damn," Jesse replied, putting down the pad and staring at the screen.

Huckleberry Hound, the page read has died


I think we all can admit to having a dream or two about dining with the charismatic dog Wishbone after his near-perfect execution in his role as Don Quixote of El ingenioso hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha. Unfortunately, scoring a date with this top dog is almost as hard actually getting yourself to sit down and read any of the stupid books featured in his self-titled series. So, we look to the substantially less famous dogs of Sark such as the one featured above. Prior to the tree-hugging reforms of 2008, all native dogs that inhabited the feudal island were bred from the only sterile female dog under the care of The Seigneur of Sark. Once the dogs reached a mature age, they were to be knighted and fit for a personal suit of plated armor. Then the doglords were allotted their own land and serfs to rule and protect.

Eats:
Fire Roasted Lark
stuffed with bread crumbs soaked in milk and crushed juniper berries

Beverage:
Homemade Caudell
(wine thickened with eggs)

Please make sure you don't substitute with any "new world" ingredients as this may baffle or even frighten your guest. Also if you want to make your Sark dog feel more at home, try spitting or sprinkling a little dirt into your Homemade Caudell.