Thursday, June 26, 2008

It's no mistake that Dog is just God spelled backwards.

Lisa: This is a dog that's concerned about current events. This dog is also my friend; of course, that needs not to be said because all dogs are my friends. Literally, every single dog that walks this earth is my friend. Wrap your mind around that. Take a minute, right now, to really absorb this fact. Every. single. dog. in the world. is my friend.

This dog's name is Panama and he enjoys reading the newspaper, listening to alternative rock and playing soccer. He also likes shopping organically and buying local produce. He's quite a chef, this one! In his garden he grows fresh vegetables and herbs. They are delicious! It's also important to note that Panama had an "I'm Not a Plastic Bag" bag before they were popular.

Jesse: I'll admit, this dog has presence. Unfortunately he's a little too aware of it so he pulls that stunt where first his head is resting on the couch and then he is ON the couch and then he's on your kitchen table showing off how he can read upside down. In bygone times this guy would have been a tough customer in the world of sheep-herding, biting ankles and making deals and generally just running shit but getting away with it because he had earned those sheeps' respect. They knew who was the boss.

But now he suffers from the same problem as most dogs where he is coddled and basically de-fanged and so has all this empty, posturing confidence with no real application. This is just grandstanding, plain and simple; it's disrespectful and it's honestly kind of sad because you can just feel the wasted potential. Also cut your hair dude you look like a fucking Jonas brother.

1 comment:

kennn said...

ooh, disney reference bitches...