Jesse: Yeah divorce is hard for the kids but face it their self esteem was probably not so hot in the first place and at least it gives them an excuse to cling to when they're a forty-eight year old shoe store employee suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, bad credit and crippling depression. Dogs on the other hand have no inherent problems but end up getting sub-divided into these demarcated zones, looking all like 19th century Africa, trying to smile even though getting pet so much in one area makes their fur burn. Shit's tough.
Lisa: I was unaware that dogs have maps but what an interesting thing. Now when I pet a dog I can pretend that I am traveling; there are places I've never been, like West for example, and now I can pet West and what a fine place it is out there! Also the South is nice too, who doesn't love a good belly rub!!! It makes a lot of sense that I live in the Northeast, wagging tails are the most fun of all things dog. You know how humans used to have tails like a long time ago? Well I bet mine was wagging lots and lots way back then.
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