Jesse: This guy somehow looks like even more of a dope when you consider him in comparison with the cold efficiency of this two-legged killing machine. You may have to operate the gun yourself but with it you can bring down any number of things: deer, bison, pickup trucks, low-flying helicopters. This dog could maybe kill a rabbit but only after scrambling through the bushes on some madcap Maramaduke-style chase around circles with this pathetic coup de grâce where it slips and crushes the poor creature with its tremendous cornfed ass. Then you're eating hot pockets for dinner while Bongo here looks at you like you've just asked him to find the square root of Kentucky.
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